Thursday, August 25, 2005
It has been one heck of a day. Not a happy blog, but I feel the need to put this all down, and this seems like as good a place as any, lol.
Dear Lord, I just ask that you take care of my Mom while she is in the hospital. Chest pains hurt, and please, if it be your will, let her be okay and come to us instead of going home to you. You already have my Dad and I know it's selfish, but I want my Mom just a little longer. I know that we here on your Earth don't always understand why things occur as they do, and I know it is not my place to question your wisdom, but I could use a little guidance right now. Please keep her safe, and take away her pain.
While I'm on it, can you also watch out for my Grandpa please. He's without power right now due to Hurricane Katrina and, while he is a very tough one, I can tell he was a little worried. The winds won't be too bad (mild hurricane) but lots of rain, and he lives in an area that is easily flooded. Just wrap your love around him and keep him safe please.
I know I'm asking a lot, but there is nothing you can not do. Liz, my youngest, has a small hairline fracture in her right foot and toe..and it can be pretty painful. A little touch from your hand to ease the pain would go a long way, along with lots of Mommy hugs from me. Hold your child that you loaned to me to raise, and help her to feel better please.
Heavenly father, I was angry at you for so long after Dad died. While I never wavered in the fact that you existed, I did waiver in my faith and devotion to you. Instead of seeing that you took Dad so that he would not be in pain or seeing that you spared him not being *all there, you took him home to be with you. I almost hated you for that, but you were patient. You never stopped loving me, even when I denied you. You kept nagging at me, and showing me your love, even when I didn't want to see it. Thank you for not giving up on me. I have found such joy and peace in the past few weeks. You tell us to lay down our burdens to the Lord and let Him take care of things, even if we don't understand. I did that. I will continue to do that. I will no longer question, but be thankful for all that you have given me.
Thank you for dying for me, and for loving me, and for showing me that you are always there, even when life seems at its darkest. I give my life over to you, Lord.