Monday, August 29, 2005
Honey, I Think There's a Cat...
My mother, God love her, is a wondeful source of love and compassion and hugs. She is also a wonderful source of amusement and entertainment, even when she doesn't want to be. She lives in Central Florida and I do not. I live where the air isn't full of moisture droplets and people of normal height and weight can breathe without feeling like a fish in drydock.
My Mom comes to visit about once a year, and I love it when I get to spend some time with just her and I. Even if we are doing nothing at all, it is perfect. Always perfect. She makes me smile, and likes my spaghetti sauce, and keeps me in constant stitches, with absolutely no effort.
This was one of those occasions. Mom asked if it would be alright to take a shower. No problem, but I wanted to pick up the bath toys first. My then eight year old still likes to take baths and plays in there until her feet prune up and she resembles a 90 yro grape. Mom didn't see a problem with picking up the toys herself, and frankly..the couch felt good...so I let her have at it. "Clean towels and washclothes under the sink, Mom, and lots of shower gel choices on the windowsill."
About twenty minutes later, a very bewildered Mother presents herself to me in the living room. "Honey, I think there's a sick cat in the tree outside the bathroom! I heard it moaning and wailing the entire time I was taking a shower." Okay... I've never seen a cat around here, as neither I nor the closeby neighbors have animals. I go outside to take a look anyway. Perhaps a stray got lost and found my tree a source of refuge. No cat. "Honey, I KNOW I heard it. Repeatedly! It almost sounded..well, not sick, but...you know...like there was more than one and they were busy!"
"Okay Mom, but I'm not going outside to find out if they are done!" We settle down to eat spaghetti and the cat caterwalling conversation is dropped. For now.
I'm preparing to retire for the evening (getting fancy here, lmbo) and prepare for my shower. I turn on the water to test the temperatures, and then hit the shower spray button.
"MUUU-WAAAAH" Dang if that cat wasn't back in the tree! I get in the shower and I'm trying to peer out the window but it is one of those real tiny way-up-high-thingies and I just can't manage to stretch my 5 ft 2 in body tall enough. I reach to catch the shampoo bottle that starts to topple and instead catch one of Liz's plastic toys the kids get in those smileyface meals from the land of 50 million served. 'MUUU-WAAAAH." A bright orange with black stripes fish looks back up at me and again proudly calls out "MUUU-WAAAAH." Nemo, From Finding Nemo, lays there in the palm of my hand. It's one of those floating toys that make noise when you use it in the tub, and the spray from the shower apparently was setting it off!
I am dying laughing here. I get dried off, dressed and go out to my mother, who is still worrying over this poor sick (or possibly very lucky) cat wandering somewhere outside the vicinity of my bathroom window.
"Mom, is this your cat???" and I make that orange toy produce it's gawd-awful noise. "Yes!," my Mother hollers... and then realizes I am holding a fish. A FISH. A plastic fish. This is her caterwalling cat. This is her "gee, couldn't they pick a better place for THAT feline pair." A plastic fish that makes a noise similar to a sick foghorn. My Mother, champion of plastic fish, cats in motion, and even the occasional paper bag by the side of the road ("But honey, I thought it was a puppy!"). I think I'll keep her. :)