You know You're Getting Old When....

I am not a fast driver. I don't LIKE to drive fast. I like a nice leisurely pace. You know, the kind where the cyclists on the Parkway pass you with their wonderful hand gestures? I don't do a LOT under the speed limit! I mean, I can hit 44 in a 45 mph zone, for Polly's sake... I just choose to not do that, lol. I do 43 1/2. I stay on the right unless there is no right, and I don't hug the bumper of the ones in front of me (mainly because I can't catch them). I thought I was a safe driver! A good driver! A cautious driver!

My mother came to visit last year. She rented this beautiful little furnished apartment for an entire month, and I was thrilled to have her close enough to give an actual hug. Cyberhugging and ecards are great, but they just cannot replace a Mommy hug!

I had gone to meet her at her rental apartment and she was going to follow me back to my little place. She wanted to come see my garden, my tons of tomatoes I complain about (see other story) and just chill on the couch with us at MY place for an evening. NO problem, Mom! I'm a slow safe driver, so following me won't be any problem at all.

We are cruising along, me doing my usual 43 or 44 (okay it was 42 but I didn't want to lose her!). My cell phone rings. I hate using a cell phone while driving. If I were that coordinated, God would have given me three arms and an ear extension from birth. I glance down quickly (one eye on road and one eye on the phone..I'm talented!) It's my Mom calling me. She must want to stop somewhere, or she has a question about dinner, or I am going too fast. Me? No way! It must be dinner.

Me: Hi Mom - I'm waving at you! What's up?
Mom: Honey? Can you do me a small favor? Please?
Me: Sure! Anything... (slowing down because I just can't talk and drive at the same time)
Mom: Well... could you kind of pick it up just a LITTLE bit? There was this little old lady on a three wheeler that just passed us on the right, and she didn't look too happy!
Me: Huh? Fine!

The cell phone quit working or she turned it off. She wouldn't admit it later when I asked, but I could SEE her laughing when I glanced back to her car. I swear she wiped away tears.

You know you're getting old when your MOTHER calls you on the cell phone from the car behind you begging that you go just a LITTLE faster than the speed of snails.

I'm getting a moped.